She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
