he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize