so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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