apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
