I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
