Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize