I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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