was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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