I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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