on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize
