You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
