do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
