Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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