barbara walters just said penis...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
