Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dick very happy bro
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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