clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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