I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
