i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize