Apparently you make a good broom.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
