Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
