you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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