My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So much rum. So many feels.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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