Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
