he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
