When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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