But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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