Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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