if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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