ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
