Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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