so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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