im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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