party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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