i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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