So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She even gives head with a lisp.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
