i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She is in my trunk
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Please don't give away my fajitas
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
