Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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