Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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