Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
