so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
