therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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