my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
