Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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