Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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