No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
