Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize