Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
