I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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