you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
