I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i think i have herpe
just one?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
