Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
