I hate your face
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
