He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
