Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize