So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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