dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
