I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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