So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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