I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
