i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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