Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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